Yevriyel sat on the rocks with his feet in the water. It was one of the last days that would be warm enough to do so. The warm season was slipping away and the final leaves were falling from trees. Living near the Relu-na, it wouldn’t ever get cold enough to snow, but he knew that the water would get quite cold. The people here had heard of snow, but would never experience it if they stayed, Yevriyel thought bittersweetly.
He’d enjoyed the idea of seeing Rin experiencing snow, or a blizzard for her first time. But he knew it would never happen. It was likely he would never see her again. After nine months posted here in the Reshi Isles doing light reconnaissance for the Ghostbloods, Yevriyel was being relocated to Babatharnum. His upcoming missions would keep him busy travelling between there, Rira, and west into Iri.
They’d talked it over. Without going into too much detail of his work or organization, Yevriyel had explained that he would be leaving and probably wouldn’t have a chance to visit again. Rin had been understanding and while she herself wouldn’t be leaving, the thought had excited her. Yevriyel, however, was wistful of their time together and had been struggling to hide his dejection since reassignment.
He was going to miss more than slower pacing of life and beautiful scenery. He was going to miss more than the swimming and warm weather. He was going to miss Rin.
Yevriyel enjoyed her company, her questions, and telling her fun stories. It was the way she would listen, but also prod and find joy in the small details. It was her carefree way of walking, doing whatever sprang to mind, letting her curiousity lead the way. Yevriyel wanted, wished, ached to stay longer. Maybe I should tell her how I feel. It’s the last time we’ll see each other anyway. He couldn’t go now. Now that he’d finally admitted to himself that he would indeed miss Rin, he was saying goodbye.
They had agreed to meet one last time for a walk before Yevriyel set out, but it was almost too painful. Memories spun on rerun in his head. Thoughts fixated on past joys so much that he couldn’t even appreciate the beautiful morning sun in front of him. But what if she doesn’t feel the same? Then it’ll just be weird and messy and I don’t want to leave like that. So paranoid that Rin would find him forlorn, he almost wanted to leave without saying goodbye… but no, that was ridiculous. Yevriyel needed to take his mind off of the abyss of emotions.
He simply breathed and felt the water lap at his feet. Light waves caused them to sway forward and back ever so slightly. Apparently, the water was never perfectly still. Rin had explained that the super-natural currents beneath the Relu-na prevented it. She was so in touch with Rira, the land around her and – argh, now he was thinking about Rin again. Oh boy, he was making this more difficult for himself than it needed to be. Think of what happens if does work out though, isn’t that worth the risk?
He played through dozens of scenarios in his head while waiting. None of them were anything new. Either way, Rin is an amazing person and I don’t want to lose her as a friend. A cool shiver passed over him. Why did it feel like everything and everyone was so far? Why was the sea so blue? Was it a mirror reflecting his own mood, or was it always coloured so deeply? No matter how he imagined things, Yevriyel just couldn’t see them working the way he wanted them to.
When Rin finally arrived, the two set out along the water. They headed towards the tree covered mountain that, along with the beach, curled around the bay. From higher up, they’d be able to see across the island to the far east and out into distant waters. There were also spots to deep dive off the rocks.
“How are you feeling about your last day here?”
Terrible, I don’t want to leave. He sucked in a breath pretending to ponder, “You know, after all this… I think I’m going to miss the Reshi Isles I’ve decided.”
“Oh, yea? Tough decision?” She rolled her eyes.
No, not at all. I’m going to be thinking about it only all the time. He wanted to cry, just let it all out. But that wasn’t his way of things. “Well, I guess the water is just a bit cold for my liking, but otherwise its nice here.”
“That’s all you have to say for the waters blessed by our holy one? I shared the secrets of the sea with you.”
“Oh no, I’m sorry I meant it as a joke. I really love swimming and diving. I… I don’t know why I said it like that. I guess I’m just trying to pretend I won’t miss it as much maybe…”
Rin scoffed still a little offended, and they continued walking in silence.
“Okay,” Yevriyel said finally. “The thing is, well, I really liked you when we were first walking and spending a lot of time together. And… I’m going to miss you when I leave. And I didn’t really want to think about it is all.”
Rin didn’t say anything. Yevriyel looked at the trees, searching for birds, anything to take his mind away. Why was he saying all these things? Couldn’t they just have one last nice walk the way they always did?
“I guess another thing on my mind,” he continued. “I feel like I only really got to know you near the end. Opening up about your art of pottery and how you get to know people in the trading docks by quietly observing. I think that’s really cool. It feels like I’m leaving too soon.”
“Thanks,” Rin eventually said. Her silence was unnerving him. The gap between them was widening, as two boats drift apart. What was happening? Was this how he was going to leave? Maybe he had solved his problem and wouldn’t miss Rin after the mess he was seeming to cause.
They past Rin’s favourite cliff jumping spot, but she didn’t lend it any attention. Did he say something? Should he even ask? Yevriyel felt… he didn’t know how he felt, but he didn’t like it. Maybe like an intruder? He felt like Rin was only still here because it was his last day and then she’d be rid of him. Did she always feel like this? Is everything alright? he wanted to ask. But no, then I’m just pointing out that something is, in fact, off. Was it the joke I made about the water? I didn’t think it was that bad.
They walked in slience to the top of the peak. They had passed the tree line and had a clear view of the entire island from all sides. Regardless of what happened, Yevriyel didn’t want their last talk to end as awkward and painfully as it was right now.
“Rin, I’m really sorry about the joke I made earlier. The one where I was making fun of the water here and around Rira.” He didn’t know what else to say, but anything seemed better than the sharp edges of silence aimed at them. “I thought it came out as a joke, but I realise that wasn’t as clear as I intended.”
She shrugged. “Its fine, I don’t really mind.” Yevriyel looked at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes, but she wouldn’t match his gaze.
Rin finally laughed, disbelievingly and dishearteningly. “Its just that Yevriyel you told me you liked me when we met, and then after told me that you only now got to know me for who I am. So, I don’t know, what does that really say? Did the months together mean anything to you?”
He shivered inside. His vision warped as though he was watching someone else live his life for him. Looking down through a far away, distant lens. Yevriyel stepped carefully, barely able to feel his feet on the ground.
“I thought you liked to spend time with me for who I am. But, I guess you just feel pity or something for me? Is that what you’re saying.”
How could he have been so blind? Did he not think before speaking? “No, that is not what I’m saying.” Yevriyel steadied himself. It wasn’t what he’d meant. Think, Yevriyel. Just tell the truth and be honest, and think about her, not yourself in this.
“I am only now realising how that sounds, and it is not at all the truth. The things I said earlier weren’t exactly true,” he admitted. “Because… well, I still really like you, Rin.”
Rin paused, taking it in. Thinking over everything he’d said.
Why am I still talking? It’s just gonna hurt more when everything is said and done. “I jus– I felt like if I said something it would have been awkward. And, I mean… I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship over that. You’re an amazing person and I don’t want– I didn’t–”
Yevriyel looked down in shame.
He’d thought about this scenario in his head a million times over, hoping to hear, “I like you too.” But no, that won’t happen. Just pick yourself up and keep moving. “I like you too.” He could almost hear it. Stop imagining, Yev. It’ll never happen.
A small part of him wanted to refute that, but it was drowned out by the thousands of other thoughts. He’d tried to keep things simple. Instead, he bungled it, was inconsiderate, and had tunnel visioned on himself. A tear welled, but he turned upward, so it wouldn’t show.
No more than a couple dozen seconds could have past, but it felt like ten times that. He looked up at Rin in anticipation. She met his gaze as if expecting more. “Well,” she said expectantly. “You can… ask me out now.”
What happened? How did we get to this–when did she make the jump of? His emotions stilled like a lake perfectly reflecting the shore. Confusion. He hesistated a bit longer than one might expect as his thoughts caught up, but before the moment passed he asked, “Do you want to get dinner then? The day after next?”
“Sure.” They smiled at each other and magic swirled through the air around them, though not the type that Yevriyel could quantify in his studies.
A magic that was much older, much more grounded in the people whom it entranced.
Rin looked out over the open water of the Reshi sea. Yevriyel look over at her with a dazed smile. The still lake began to shimmer as sentiments and affections starting spinning again. Somewhere in the back of his head he knew he’d still have to leave and fulfill his contract for the Ghostbloods, but that was a whole other world away – literally.
Wind whipped around them, but Yevriyel didn’t notice any of it. Only the whirlwind of his own emotions, the ecstatic storm of energy. He felt jumpy and a leg twitched as he finally caught up to the situation. I need to move, to act, I can’t keep still. “Can I hug you?” he blurted, unable to help himself.
“Yea,” Rin smiled.
The held each other hesistantly. Yevriyel pulled Rin in close and held on tight as though they could drift apart at any moment. Feeling each other’s warmth and feeling self concious of their own poses they looked onwards to the horizon.
1940 words
Oct 06, 2023
all-stories